What does Self-play mean?

Some BDSM Ways to Play Alone

Home alone and no one to play with? Get ready to push your limits with Solo BDSM

What’s a kinky single to do? Flipping through profiles at your favorite BDSM dating site, or settling in for another night of endless internet clips isn’t always enough to satisfy your kinky cravings. You need to get some action now!

Maybe you already have a date for Friday, and who knows – it might pan out and you’ll meet that sexy submissive or domme you desire. But in the meantime, you need a little playtime. Of course, you could always find a local professional to help you out, but why not experiment with solo BDSM? There are plenty of challenging and exciting ways for you to stimulate yourself in the comfort and privacy of your own home.

1. Self-Bondage: All Tied Up

Whether you’re a dom or a sub, you probably love the feel of ropes. For doms, it’s a great way to practice your technique. If you don’t have ropes handy there are plenty of other things around the house you could try, including, belts, scarves, or bandages.

Tying yourself up can be tricky but with a little creativity, it can be more exciting than you think. Check out this link for great self-bondage ideas. For an extra kick, throw a little flogging in, that’s if you have a free hand.

For safety’s sake, make sure you don’t get yourself into something you can’t get out of and be aware that using gags can be dangerous when you’re alone. If you want to try a ball gag alone without risking suffocation, try a whiffle ball with a scarf threaded through for a breathing passage.

2. Self-Orgasm Control: Will of Steel

When you control your orgasm, you can achieve and maintain a high level of arousal for a prolonged period of time before coming. Sounds great, right? What delicious torture! It can be very intense to tease yourself into hovering just a notch before climax, and when you finally decide to let yourself come, the orgasm is often bigger and better than usual. Even if you would normally be the one to tie and tease your partner, there’s always value in learning to control your own orgasms.

Alone, you have total control over the speed, feeling, and level of pressure. Try masturbating until you reach the plateau phase just before climax, then slow down just enough to avoid orgasming. Keep yourself at this level as long as you can before ultimately coming, or deny yourself all together for some good ole orgasm denial.

Make the clock your master – once you slow down to avoid climax, vow to keep yourself in blissful torture for a prescribed amount of time. I’m guessing even 3 minutes would be an eternity!

3. Self-Flagellation: Not Just for the Devout

In need of a little punishment? Try flogging yourself! For some, flogging is all about the pain, but most will report that the real excitement comes from the release of endorphins. You’ll find it easy to whip your back and legs and with a little practice you’ll also be able to get at your backside. For those new to flogging, please read flogging basics and important safety information.

Don’t have a flogger? Order your own flogger here or watch Master Tim demonstrate how to make your own:

4. Self-Genitorture: A Little Pain with Your Pleasure?

Is CBT your thing? Don’t wait for a mistress to stomp on your balls or put you on a very tight leash. It’s a do-it-yourself time! CBT can range from edgeplay to more sensual acts. Take that tie off of your neck and wrap it tightly around your cock and balls. Or pick up a ball stretcher to really expose your nuts to light whipping, dripping wax, or icy sensations.

Need some inspiration too, ladies? Consider clamps, clothespins, mousetraps, or chopsticks with elastics. Throw in a bit of pussy paddling and spanking for good measure. Just remember to keep the circulation flowing and the temperature at a level that is safe.

5. Virtual Sex: Get it Online

You can be alone at home and still find a playmate to interact with online. I’ll give you two suggestions.

The less expensive option is to join a BDSM dating site with live video and audio chatrooms to make new friends, and have really naughty webcam sex. Hopefully, you’ll also meet someone local so you don’t have to top yourself forever. These sites are good value, usually costing under $30 a month to be part of a thriving BDSM community.

For immediate satisfaction, you can seek out live cam sites. Top or bottom, BDSM cam sex can be very good. If you’re a sub, find a dominatrix or very dominant camgirl who can cook up a scenario and tell you what to do. For doms, it can be a real buffet. Even though they may be motivated by money, women at webcam sites such as Flirt4Free are very happy to oblige nearly any request. Going for a private session is going to set you back. I recommend spending time in the open chat rooms and asking different women about their limits before treating yourself to some one-on-one.

Bonus: Spiff Up Your Kinky Skill Set

I personally hate homework, but improving your submissive or domination skills can end up paying dividends in a way that advanced geometry never has!

I think that the flagellation, bondage, genitorture, and orgasm control mentioned above are not only great erotic self play ideas, but also serve as excellent practice for future endeavors with a partner. You aren’t going to be doing this BDSM thing on your own forever, are you? So consider all your kinky self-play as a way to work out how you’d like things to be done to you as a submissive, and how you handle denial, pain, and pleasure. If you’re usually the dom, then consider these techniques as a way to test out sensations and perfect your skills.

You might even take some time to do more online research once you’re spent with the ideas in this article. So while you’re alone you could also improve non-sexual skills such as how to properly shine up your mistress’s boots, or look up new ideas for sensation play, or positions to try with a lover.

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This glass anal dildo helps you discover all your sensitive spots. The double dildo can be used on both sides, so you can use it on your own or together with your partner. The pointy tip makes sure the dildo is easy to insert. The large orange nubs provide an intense stimulation with every thrust. Because the dildo is made of glass, it can be used in combination with both water-based and silicone lubricant. Glass is also easy to clean after use with water and toy cleaner or a mild antibacterial soap.

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This gel has an exciting and stimulating effect. The gel is easy to dose and apply and creates enhanced sexual energy. The gel is suitable for any skin type and has a nourishing effect. Ingredients: Aqua, Glycerin, Propylene Glycol, Alcohol Denat, Carbomer, Polysorbate 20, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Sorbate, PEG-40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Menthyl PCA, Disodium EDTA, Menthol, CI 19140, CI 17200, Aminomethyl Propanol.

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This stunning polished aluminium anal plug features a beautiful clear or pink crystal. Formed with a tapered tip, smooth bulbous body and slender neck, inserting and wearing your toy is easy. The aluminium is temperature responsive, which means it's cold to the touch, but will easily heat up to the perfect temperature. Heat or cool in warm water or the fridge for extra sensations!

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